[Riku settles back, lips pressed together… he's promised to tell this story and he will, without leaving anything (or well almost anything out. He isn't sure how much Roxas remembers from Sora's memories, how much of that stuck with the other… So he might as well start at the very beginning, the root of the issue.]
What you have to understand to start with is… before we left the Islands, I was used to being the first in everything. That's not supposed to be an excuse – I worked hard to be ahead in every challenge the Islands threw at us, but being ahead… being more or less unchallenged aside from the odd time that Sora managed to pull one over me… it made me arrogant.
[Made him dismiss Sora's victories as flunks, made him oh so certain that he was ready to face the Outside World… like a fool, really. He hadn't learned much better until Castle Oblivion.]
Then, when we left the Islands… it didn't go like we had planned to.
[For one, the destruction of the Islands certainly had been an unplanned side-effect and for another.]
When I woke up in Hollow Bastion, all I could think about was finding Sora and Kairi, making sure that they were all right. [Especially when he had gotten attacked by Heartless not even five minutes after waking up.] I was the strongest of us, after all, so I thought they'd certainly need my help agains the Heartless.
Then, when I found Sora later on in Traverse Town… with the Keyblade and new comrades in tow… it kind of stung. To me, it felt as though I had been replaced, like I wasn't needed anymore.
[He still remembers it keenly… the shock of seeing Sora hold the weapon that was promised to him… but that particular bit he isn't going to get into, not with Roxas. Even though he's sure at this point that 'the magic' won't go away anymore, it's still a secret he promised to keep.]
With Maleficent whispering the same thing into my ear, it was easy to deceive myself into believing that Sora had abandoned us, Kairi and me, for other people; rather than to swallow my pride and see the truth of things. I was so wrapped up in that thought, so angry… especially after I ran into him in Monstro…
[After he had all but spelled out Kairi's fate and offered to work together – even now Riku can taste that old bitterness at the back of his tongue, even though he knows that he had been wrong in his whole approach… fact is that between the two, Sora did draw his weapon first… but he isn't going to tell that to Roxas either.]
And after Neverland, I was thoroughly convinced that I couldn't trust him anymore, that Maleficent was more likely to help me with getting Kairi's heart back…
[There had been a moment then, after all… one moment when he had been free from Maleficent, from all her flunkies… one moment when he had been at crossroads because he had held Kairi's body to his own and been so desperate to find a way to help her.
Only to forget his heart's desire, in the one moment it might have truly mattered…]
When things got to head in Hollow Bastion, I couldn't see past my anger and my hurt pride. Not before fighting Sora… and certainly not after that either. So, when you told me that I was the one that left Sora behind… it was a challenge that I couldn't let go.
[So… there's why he started a stupid fight over basically nothing. Feel free to laugh at him, Roxas.]
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[Riku settles back, lips pressed together… he's promised to tell this story and he will, without leaving anything (or well almost anything out. He isn't sure how much Roxas remembers from Sora's memories, how much of that stuck with the other… So he might as well start at the very beginning, the root of the issue.]
What you have to understand to start with is… before we left the Islands, I was used to being the first in everything. That's not supposed to be an excuse – I worked hard to be ahead in every challenge the Islands threw at us, but being ahead… being more or less unchallenged aside from the odd time that Sora managed to pull one over me… it made me arrogant.
[Made him dismiss Sora's victories as flunks, made him oh so certain that he was ready to face the Outside World… like a fool, really. He hadn't learned much better until Castle Oblivion.]
Then, when we left the Islands… it didn't go like we had planned to.
[For one, the destruction of the Islands certainly had been an unplanned side-effect and for another.]
When I woke up in Hollow Bastion, all I could think about was finding Sora and Kairi, making sure that they were all right. [Especially when he had gotten attacked by Heartless not even five minutes after waking up.] I was the strongest of us, after all, so I thought they'd certainly need my help agains the Heartless.
Then, when I found Sora later on in Traverse Town… with the Keyblade and new comrades in tow… it kind of stung. To me, it felt as though I had been replaced, like I wasn't needed anymore.
[He still remembers it keenly… the shock of seeing Sora hold the weapon that was promised to him… but that particular bit he isn't going to get into, not with Roxas. Even though he's sure at this point that 'the magic' won't go away anymore, it's still a secret he promised to keep.]
With Maleficent whispering the same thing into my ear, it was easy to deceive myself into believing that Sora had abandoned us, Kairi and me, for other people; rather than to swallow my pride and see the truth of things. I was so wrapped up in that thought, so angry… especially after I ran into him in Monstro…
[After he had all but spelled out Kairi's fate and offered to work together – even now Riku can taste that old bitterness at the back of his tongue, even though he knows that he had been wrong in his whole approach… fact is that between the two, Sora did draw his weapon first… but he isn't going to tell that to Roxas either.]
And after Neverland, I was thoroughly convinced that I couldn't trust him anymore, that Maleficent was more likely to help me with getting Kairi's heart back…
[There had been a moment then, after all… one moment when he had been free from Maleficent, from all her flunkies… one moment when he had been at crossroads because he had held Kairi's body to his own and been so desperate to find a way to help her.
Only to forget his heart's desire, in the one moment it might have truly mattered…]
When things got to head in Hollow Bastion, I couldn't see past my anger and my hurt pride. Not before fighting Sora… and certainly not after that either. So, when you told me that I was the one that left Sora behind… it was a challenge that I couldn't let go.
[So… there's why he started a stupid fight over basically nothing. Feel free to laugh at him, Roxas.]