[She stops herself, hiccuping on her own words, unable to effectively halt the verbal stumbling. Trying to cover this up by pulling the NV away to try and encrypt the call.]
I'm asking you ... because ... I feel like I can trust you. And I can't push Terra any farther than I already have.
[Slow exhale.]
You know a lot more than I do about how things are in the Port. I need help.
[His first and strongest instinct is to deny, deny, deny. And it's not that those halting words mean he won't—this isn't his story to tell, not his secret to share.
But he knows what it is for distances to build up between friends until there's nothing but fear they'll never be overcome.
[Stop. Stop, Aqua. Is this really a point that she should be arguing? Is he really in a state to be reasoned with anyway? He seemed so angry when she asked about Xemnas, but now ...]
... You aren't like him. Not if he's as terrible as you say.
[She holds her breath for a moment, thinking this over carefully.]
Can you just ... answer one more question? And then I'll go? Please.
Maybe not. I don't want to be. But we've got more in common than I'd like.
Aqua, remember when I said I ended up with a bad crowd after I was created? He was part of it. Our leader, Number I. He was the first person I ever met. He named me.
She mulls this over quietly, not in any rush to stop him from giving her information. She does figure, though, that he's probably loath to let this conversation go on for very much longer.]
I just want to know ...
[Her voice is quiet -- just barely above a whisper, as though saying the words too loudly will set into motion some unfathomable disaster.]
[There's a long, long silence before Aqua receives any reply at all. He could ignore the question, sure. He could hang up and turn his NV off and avoid the issue entirely.
But he can't. Even if he can't be the one to share all that's happened with her, he can't turn away a friend who's confused and worried and needs to know the truth—who used to know it herself. Roxas wishes he could bring those memories because, because it would be so much easier that way.]
[Well ... that doesn't sound very definitive. Not that Roxas can see, but she shrinks where she sits, a few ridiculous hopes dissipating as her doubts solidify.
She did say that she had one question and he gave her one answer. And ... to be honest ... it's more of an answer than she expected.]
I see.
[Even though there's not much to see. Another time, perhaps.]
You should know...nothing Xemnas has done is Terra's fault. None of it.
[Terra would not create people only to destroy them for his own use. Terra would not gather hearts for pure power. He would have stopped it all, if he could have.]
[... ... There's just no way that she can suppress the follow up questions. They build in the pit of her throat momentarily, and she makes not one but two attempts to swallow it down into suppression.
But, again ... there's just no way.]
Why does he ... look like Terra? If Terra's heart wasn't lost, then whose Nobody is he?
[More than ever, Roxas wishes Terra had explained at least some of what had happened to Aqua. He'd do anything to help his friends, but anything shouldn't include making this kind of decision about how much to tell her now.]
He used to call himself Ansem. I wasn't around back then, but when he lost his heart, he changed it. That's kind of how it goes for people like us. Ansem to Xemnas...Sora to Roxas.
But he wasn't even the real Ansem. I never met the real one, but they said he was betrayed by the original members of the Organization. And their leader stole his name so no one would find out. I guess he makes a habit of taking things that are important.
[He sounds distressed now, half-panicked, and deeply worried.]
I told you, he's a liar. You can't trust anything he says. And he's still our enemy, no matter what—the only reason we haven't taken him out for good is because in a world like this, that might not even be possible. He's not still walking around because I've forgiven him.
[Bitterrrrrr.]
Besides...I don't even know how much he remembers.
The truth of the matter is that she knows just how easily that man slides lies into a conversation -- taking into consideration how their very first conversation went. The memory stirs a frown to her features, but ... a thoughtful one.
It's easily decided that soliciting Xemnas for information ought to be a last resort. But is asking Terra directly really the ... stable thing to do? If she thought so, she might not be so quick to see what Roxas knows. It just made so much sense to come to someone who's been in the Port for a long time ... and who knows much more than she knows.
Then again, he's never been this evasive before.]
I didn't mean to upset you. [Here she goes ... apologizing again.] It's better than it was, but ... still. I just feel like I'm ... not seeing the big picture just yet. Like there's something missing.
[Something missing that no one wants to tell her. A sigh of frustration comes and goes.
There's no other option, realistically. She has to ask Terra.
Even if it means another blow-up, another outburst, a brand new fight. Putting his friend on the spot should not have been -- should not have to have been -- the first thing she did.]
I would tell you everything I know if I could, but it isn't my story to tell.
[And he'd promised Terra he wouldn't--promised not to tell part of it, at least. Ten years, he'd said. Ten years without control of his own body and heart, thinking all that time that his friends were lost to him. Roxas can't even imagine what that's like, but he does know something about loss.]
Something really bad happened. Terra didn't do anything wrong, but everything got complicated. Especially after last spring. It's just hard for him.
[There's a long pause on her end of the NV following Roxas's response ... almost too long. It's likely she's turning his phrases over and over in her mind, weighing her options ... making a decision.
It's enough. She shouldn't ask any more questions. Not about Terra or anyone else.
Finally -- ]
No ... don't apologize. Thank you for your help. This ... means a lot to me.
[Her voice has taken on a defeated tone ... hollow, perhaps. But if it isn't exactly emotive, it is polite.]
We'll talk more some other time. [An opening for him to end the conversation. A signal that she's ready for it to be over herself.] Please take care ... okay?
call; private
[She stops herself, hiccuping on her own words, unable to effectively halt the verbal stumbling. Trying to cover this up by pulling the NV away to try and encrypt the call.]
I'm asking you ... because ... I feel like I can trust you. And I can't push Terra any farther than I already have.
[Slow exhale.]
You know a lot more than I do about how things are in the Port. I need help.
call; private
But he knows what it is for distances to build up between friends until there's nothing but fear they'll never be overcome.
She trusts him.]
Xemnas isn't from your time. He's from mine.
He's a Nobody.
Like me.
call; private
[Stop. Stop, Aqua. Is this really a point that she should be arguing? Is he really in a state to be reasoned with anyway? He seemed so angry when she asked about Xemnas, but now ...]
... You aren't like him. Not if he's as terrible as you say.
[She holds her breath for a moment, thinking this over carefully.]
Can you just ... answer one more question? And then I'll go? Please.
call; private
Aqua, remember when I said I ended up with a bad crowd after I was created? He was part of it. Our leader, Number I. He was the first person I ever met. He named me.
[Also, he's part of Xehanort.]
What do you want to ask?
call; private
She mulls this over quietly, not in any rush to stop him from giving her information. She does figure, though, that he's probably loath to let this conversation go on for very much longer.]
I just want to know ...
[Her voice is quiet -- just barely above a whisper, as though saying the words too loudly will set into motion some unfathomable disaster.]
... if Xemnas is Terra's Nobody.
call; private
But he can't. Even if he can't be the one to share all that's happened with her, he can't turn away a friend who's confused and worried and needs to know the truth—who used to know it herself. Roxas wishes he could bring those memories because, because it would be so much easier that way.]
Not exactly.
call; private
She did say that she had one question and he gave her one answer. And ... to be honest ... it's more of an answer than she expected.]
I see.
[Even though there's not much to see.
Another time, perhaps.]
call; private
You should know...nothing Xemnas has done is Terra's fault. None of it.
[Terra would not create people only to destroy them for his own use. Terra would not gather hearts for pure power. He would have stopped it all, if he could have.]
It wasn't Terra's heart that was lost.
call; private
[... ... There's just no way that she can suppress the follow up questions. They build in the pit of her throat momentarily, and she makes not one but two attempts to swallow it down into suppression.
But, again ... there's just no way.]
Why does he ... look like Terra? If Terra's heart wasn't lost, then whose Nobody is he?
call; private
He used to call himself Ansem. I wasn't around back then, but when he lost his heart, he changed it. That's kind of how it goes for people like us. Ansem to Xemnas...Sora to Roxas.
But he wasn't even the real Ansem. I never met the real one, but they said he was betrayed by the original members of the Organization. And their leader stole his name so no one would find out. I guess he makes a habit of taking things that are important.
call; private
It's not his Nobody. Even Roxas has said so -- it's not his Nobody. Not ... exactly.
Not exactly.
It's that part of his response that stays with her, keeps her from excusing herself from the conversation.]
... I don't suppose he would tell me if I asked, would he?
[Ironically, she's talking about Xemnas. Not Terra.]
call; private
[He sounds distressed now, half-panicked, and deeply worried.]
I told you, he's a liar. You can't trust anything he says. And he's still our enemy, no matter what—the only reason we haven't taken him out for good is because in a world like this, that might not even be possible. He's not still walking around because I've forgiven him.
[Bitterrrrrr.]
Besides...I don't even know how much he remembers.
You shouldn't have to go to him for information.
call; private
The truth of the matter is that she knows just how easily that man slides lies into a conversation -- taking into consideration how their very first conversation went. The memory stirs a frown to her features, but ... a thoughtful one.
It's easily decided that soliciting Xemnas for information ought to be a last resort. But is asking Terra directly really the ... stable thing to do? If she thought so, she might not be so quick to see what Roxas knows. It just made so much sense to come to someone who's been in the Port for a long time ... and who knows much more than she knows.
Then again, he's never been this evasive before.]
I didn't mean to upset you. [Here she goes ... apologizing again.] It's better than it was, but ... still. I just feel like I'm ... not seeing the big picture just yet. Like there's something missing.
[Something missing that no one wants to tell her. A sigh of frustration comes and goes.
There's no other option, realistically. She has to ask Terra.
Even if it means another blow-up, another outburst, a brand new fight. Putting his friend on the spot should not have been -- should not have to have been -- the first thing she did.]
... I'll get this sorted out some other way.
call; private
[His voice is quiet, small. And full of regret.]
I would tell you everything I know if I could, but it isn't my story to tell.
[And he'd promised Terra he wouldn't--promised not to tell part of it, at least. Ten years, he'd said. Ten years without control of his own body and heart, thinking all that time that his friends were lost to him. Roxas can't even imagine what that's like, but he does know something about loss.]
Something really bad happened. Terra didn't do anything wrong, but everything got complicated. Especially after last spring. It's just hard for him.
call; private
It's enough. She shouldn't ask any more questions. Not about Terra or anyone else.
Finally -- ]
No ... don't apologize. Thank you for your help. This ... means a lot to me.
[Her voice has taken on a defeated tone ... hollow, perhaps. But if it isn't exactly emotive, it is polite.]
We'll talk more some other time. [An opening for him to end the conversation. A signal that she's ready for it to be over herself.] Please take care ... okay?